The Dumbest Reason to Write a Post
Boy oh boy has it been a minute. I'd apologize for my disappearing act, but fuck it. It's a pandemic. One thing I've gotten out of this completely bizarre experience is becoming adept at forgiving myself and embracing the oft-praised quarantine pastimes of giving one's self "grace" and "being gentle" with yourself. I'm usually fairly easy to sway with suggestion and posts about that kind of stuff make me nod until my neck nearly breaks and then I NEED to stay in pajamas and play mindless games on my phone instead of writing.
But now that the lovely two week break I had around the holidays is over, and I faced BLUE MONDAY yesterday - returning to work and homeschooling, I'm ready to take care of business in all areas of my life; including a few applications for fellowships and mentorships that I'm excited and hopeful about. Which brings me to the title of this post. Yes. I'm absolutely writing this post because I know that I've shared my website address for the first time in months and (with hope) people will be checking the site out. It's the creative/web equivalent of only cleaning your house when someone is coming over. But at least I'm being up front about it. I rarely try to hide my shortcomings. That's where I get the best material for writing about how sad, flawed, and proud we are as humans.
So, here I am. Re-activating my dormant blog. It reminds me of college when we'd be assigned to keep a journal for a class (log your reactions to the reading! daily discoveries on acting! how your body feels in our daily dance class!). Inevitably it meant that I'd buy a cute journal and write in it for 2-3 days at the beginning of the term and then I'd find myself sitting up the night before it was due with a pencil and two different color pens trying to vary up what I wrote with, to give the impression that the entries had taken place over the full semester. No! I didn't write these all in one night while trying to remember a series of classes that I likely suffered through with a wicked hangover. I've been dutifully cataloguing my impactful experience in your class. Man, I was useless in college.
But now, I'm a grown up! I self-motivate to complete tasks, right? I keep a blog, not just because it might be a good way to connect with people and share my point of view, but because I value writing regularly. Yes, there is a little sarcasm in those lines. But there's truth, too. Blogging falls under my weakest category as an artist - self promotion. I write every single day; but it's usually working on my work in progress, not blog posts or tweets or anything else that might help me start to build some kind of interest. I'm always so busy making the food for the party and curating the playlist, that I usually forget to send the invitations.
But not anymore. At least not today. Even if my motivation to get on this site and write a blog post was a transparent attempt to give judging panels an opportunity to see something recent appear on this site, the fact remains that I wrote a post! Even if the motive was dubious, the content is real (if a little meta).
I'd love to make a bunch of empty promises about doing this with more regularity, but I don't want to lie to you or myself. So I'll just say, more to come...whenever that is.